Ineffable Grace

Comments are off.

julie — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 22:23:53 +0000

I find myself unable to keep up with comment spam in particular, and am not faring much better at keeping up with actual comments. So I’ve turned them back off, like they were a while ago.

I’m having very little typing time these days.

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a quiet praise

julie — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 03:02:09 +0000

The type of cancer I had is reasonably likely to recur, and also reasonably likely to spread (metastasize). Both are most likely to happen within the first two years–about four out of five times, in fact. So if you get to the two year mark NED (no evidence of disease), statistically you’re doing quite well.

My two-year mark was May 1. Or mid-April, depending on when you start counting. But it wasn’t until last week that I had a CT scan to verify the "no evidence" part, and it wasn’t until this morning that we got the results: clear!

So big praise. I’ve been waiting two years for today to get here, and while it doesn’t feel as relieving as it might, I think it’s mainly because I don’t think about it as often as I once did! At any rate, on the one hand, today is just a day from yesterday; on the other, today was pretty significant on the cancer front–as far as human medical knowledge can go. Of course, God’s in control from day one.

onesies

julie — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 22:49:47 +0000

Seth and I have been designing some onesies and other baby products in an attempt to make a little side income, and also ’cause we’ve been frustrated with the “I’m the cutest baby” and “future diva” tone of the stuff you can buy in stores. Check them out!

because the words are gone

julie — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 04:22:48 +0000

I have to say, when I started Ineffable Grace, it certainly wasn’t my intention to go whole months without posting. Yet, at the moment, that’s exactly what’s happening, and it’s unlikely to change for at least a couple more months.

As most of you probably know, we’re praying to be welcoming a new little girl into the world just over a month from now. I’ve been sick–hyperemesis gravidarum and, more recently, fairly severe anemia–but honestly, I think the biggest “problem” is that pregnancy seems to have done something to my brain! My mind seems to be suddenly happier to dwell on concrete things and downright stubborn about dealing with abstracts. In other words: for the first time in my life, housework is coming easier than thinking. ;) I suppose this is a good thing, maybe even a God-given instinct to help mothers prepare for children! But it is wrecking my blogging abilities, and for that I apologize.

So it looks likely that I won’t be posting until whatever chemicals have gone berserk in my head go back to normal. In the meantime, though, two very non-deep thoughts that have manged to run through my head between vacuuming and painting:

As Seth and I work to “prepare a place” for our daughter, it’s made the concept of God preparing a place for us so much more real. She and I have a sort of relationship; she’s heard my voice, slept to my heartbeat, and felt my hand pushing against her when she kicks particularly hard. And I’ve felt her little movements, her little flutters, and even seen her little eyes and nose on an ultrasound screen. But we don’t really know each other, and we won’t move beyond this very limited communication until she actually arrives. And it makes me think of heaven, the Heavenly Father who’s building us our own equivalents of “nurseries,” and way that our knowledge of Him is so limited now in comparison to what it will be. And the way I already love this little person who hasn’t even met me or understood the reality of my existence–and how much more my Father loves me despite all my baby-like ignorance.
When people talk about babies being helpless and needing parents (and the spiritual parallels thereof), I didn’t realize exactly how helpless babies really are. It’s not that they can’t feed themselves or walk or protect themselves; they come out not knowing how to smile, not being able to see farther than a few feet, and not even being able to grasp something in their little fingers. It’s amazing, really.

He can make the camel fit.

julie — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 04:01:28 +0000

Excellent poem from Karsten Piper.

marriage is an act of will

julie — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 07:33:02 +0000

Excellent article by Ravi Zacharias on what it takes to make a marriage work. (Via Melody.)

the blessing of a good mate

julie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 04:00:54 +0000

On about the third day after we first met, Seth and I were on our way to a little Italian restaurant in Memphis when he asked me, out of the blue: “So, Julie, if we got married, and God called me to live in a mud hut, would that be okay with you?”

For a few frenzied seconds, my poor teenage-girl brain was very confused. Seth had been very clear that he didn’t feel called to a foreign mission field, and so part of me was trying to figure out why God would call him to live in a mud hut in North America, and another part was thinking mud hut? Does he feel called to live in a mud hut? Why a mud hut? What would we do for a bathroom? I think I missed something here. But then I realized what he was really asking: are you the type of person who wants to live a good moral life, live in a house, have a family, try to live a righteous life, and be actively involved in a local church–or are you the kind of person who is happy to drop everything and lose everything for no reason beyond the fact that it’s the way God is leading us? And also: are you the type of person who would willfully give up the usefulness of a kitchen, a bathroom, and a floor, simply because your husband asks you?

So I answered. And I realized that his question was no less insightful into his character than my answer was to mine.

In the past six months or so, I’ve realized that a very large number of the people I knew in high school and college are starting to get married. Still lots of singles in the group, but a growing number of people who are “together,” engaged, or married. And–having been married for going on four years–I’m really terrified for the souls of many of these old friends of mine. Some of their prospective spouses’ salvation is in serious question, others are marrying into heretical denominations, and countless more seem to be spending their lives in pursuit of the American dream, Christian-style, which says let’s get married, have two kids, volunteer in VBS, go to the local MOPS, and tithe; we won’t cheat on our taxes and we’ll give to charity.

I hear phrases like “I’m so excited–I know God just made us for each other, we have so many interests in common and we just understand each other so much!” Because, you know, God’s main concern is that you can find a board game you both like to play. Or “he’s such a great guy; he has a really great job and our careers work together so perfectly, and he’s so sweet and sensitive–he makes great cappuccinos!” Personality equals greatness. And, my favorite of all: “we even want the same number of kids!” Since the whole kid thing is governed by wishes and not by, I don’t know, the multitude of Bible verses on the subject. Just once, I want one of my friends to pull me aside and tell me that they’re deliriously in love with their boyfriend/fiancé/husband because he makes it clear everyday that his top adoration is Christ, and constantly points her toward the truth of the Gospel, enough that it makes her uncomfortable, embarrassed, and aware of her own insufficiency.

One thing I’ve learned in the past four years is that it’s very easy for a husband and a wife to become alike spiritually. We can drag each other down, we can build each other up, and the effect is effortless. We have a huge impact on each other, even when we don’t want to. It’s hard for one of us to be in close fellowship with God when the other is spiritually depressed, and conversely easy for us to be lifted out of spiritual dimness when the other is passionate and fiery. Solomon is a prime example of this; 1 Kings 11:4 says that ” when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God” (ESV). Even with all his wisdom–and verbal communication with the Most High–Solomon still succumbed to his wives’ spiritual state.

Even more than our relationship with each other impacting our relationship with God, though, our relationship with God impacts our relationship with each other. Nothing brings us together like the feeling of catching Seth’s hand in mine in silent support during an intense theological discussion that’s going on, and nothing is quite as satisfying as curling up to each other to sleep after a spiritually harrowing night. Sometimes there’s no words, just togetherness: nothing can give one-ness on the same scale as pursing the Gospel together. There’s no comparison. Scripture doesn’t give us very many examples of couples where both are clearly strong believers, but it’s worth noticing that the couples who seem to have the most secure marriages–Abraham and Sarah, Boaz and Ruth, Joseph and Mary, Zechariah and Elizabeth–are the same couples where we can read both parties praising and praying to God. And I’d wager that Priscilla and Aquila were among the happiest people in the whole New Testament; they certainly seem to have been inseparable!

Nothing can make a marriage a success the way that a shared commitment to Christ will. Our love for each other–our capacity to love each other–increases as we draw nearer to God. Nonbelievers can never experience the most ultimate pleasure of marriage, and weaker believers cannot experience it as fully. There’s no earthly delight more agreeable than a godly spouse–and, I suspect, no earthly torment more horrible than a wayward or apathetic one. And on the other side of the coin, apart from the Gospel itself, I don’t think there’s anything that can change us, for better or for worse, than the person we live with day in and day out.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 are the famous verses used to point out how wrong it is to marry a nonbeliever, but I think it’s useful to note the reasons Paul gives: “what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” [ESV] No matter how many common interests two people may have, if one is righteous and one is lawless, they have nothing in common. No partnership, no fellowship, no accord; no shared portion.

And so, common interests, pleasant personalities, good jobs, even going to the same church or writing identical doctrinal statements: these things are not what we should be looking for. You can marry a seminary graduate with all the right words and excellent references, and still find out that he falls apart when his world falls down around him. Or you can marry somebody who obsesses over the proper method of courtship and reads every book Douglas Wilson, James Dobson, and Gary Smalley ever published, and learn what happens when he’s more concerned with his relationship with you than your relationship to God. It takes a lot more character to confront someone with their sin than to be a sensitive shoulder to cry on. It takes far greater maturity to look you in the eye and say, “if God takes you away from me then I will praise Him; He is all I need,” than to say, “darling, you’re my world and I couldn’t survive without you.”

That’s where the mud hut questions come in: Would you really abandon everything? Can you really smile when humanly everything is sorrow? Do you put your relationship with God above all, and regard your relationship with your wife/husband as only a tangent to that all-encompassing passion for Christ? Is your house going to stand strong when the rain starts to fall and all the sand washes away?

I pray that the marrying people of my generation would have greater vision, and that we all would be bold in confronting the horror of unequally yoked.

Volunteer database

julie — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:48:05 +0000

If you’ve ever wanted to work with mercy ministries in your community but not known where to start, ChristianVolunteering.org may have some answers! (Via SmartChristian.)

funny parody of arminianism

julie — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 09:14:38 +0000

Arminian Grace–rewriting the old hymn.

more on membership/baptism

julie — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 07:17:12 +0000

If anyone was interested in reading more about the baptism/membership issue, here’s an excellent summary of the “debate” over the issue (beyond Bethlehem Baptist).