I have to say, when I started Ineffable Grace, it certainly wasn’t my intention to go whole months without posting. Yet, at the moment, that’s exactly what’s happening, and it’s unlikely to change for at least a couple more months.
As most of you probably know, we’re praying to be welcoming a new little girl into the world just over a month from now. I’ve been sick–hyperemesis gravidarum and, more recently, fairly severe anemia–but honestly, I think the biggest “problem” is that pregnancy seems to have done something to my brain! My mind seems to be suddenly happier to dwell on concrete things and downright stubborn about dealing with abstracts. In other words: for the first time in my life, housework is coming easier than thinking. ;) I suppose this is a good thing, maybe even a God-given instinct to help mothers prepare for children! But it is wrecking my blogging abilities, and for that I apologize.
So it looks likely that I won’t be posting until whatever chemicals have gone berserk in my head go back to normal. In the meantime, though, two very non-deep thoughts that have manged to run through my head between vacuuming and painting:
- As Seth and I work to “prepare a place” for our daughter, it’s made the concept of God preparing a place for us so much more real. She and I have a sort of relationship; she’s heard my voice, slept to my heartbeat, and felt my hand pushing against her when she kicks particularly hard. And I’ve felt her little movements, her little flutters, and even seen her little eyes and nose on an ultrasound screen. But we don’t really know each other, and we won’t move beyond this very limited communication until she actually arrives. And it makes me think of heaven, the Heavenly Father who’s building us our own equivalents of “nurseries,” and way that our knowledge of Him is so limited now in comparison to what it will be. And the way I already love this little person who hasn’t even met me or understood the reality of my existence–and how much more my Father loves me despite all my baby-like ignorance.
- When people talk about babies being helpless and needing parents (and the spiritual parallels thereof), I didn’t realize exactly how helpless babies really are. It’s not that they can’t feed themselves or walk or protect themselves; they come out not knowing how to smile, not being able to see farther than a few feet, and not even being able to grasp something in their little fingers. It’s amazing, really.
